Today I decided it’s the decisions made when at your lowest that define who you are.

And it’s the faith you have to stay loving and generous when you feel strong that help you remember what is going to help you when you are at your lowest.

I’ve decided to trust the feelings and thoughts about love that make me feel happy.

Hashtag what the frigonometry am I banging on about?!?! Hashtag more bushcraft tomorrow. Hashtag is a hashtag like a hash brown? Tasty in the moment – but cold and gelatinous upon more detailed inspection.

Films/Theatre/Music/Culture · Outings

Sharing my Fluid

Get yourself into Birmingham town centre tomorrow for the second day of this: http://www.birminghamweekender.com

Went to a great night as part of FLUID festival tonight. It’s in it’s first year and I really hope it gets bigger and is just the start. Loads of wonderful performers including:

Rebekah Ubuntu

Who premiered a 30minute piece of Queer Afro-futuristic electronica with live vocals and effects with wicked universe and cellular visuals it was really making me smile as if I was on drugs but it was just the music and the dancing and the people and my toenails!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssjZDhixtW8 M



Mx World

Poppy Tibbetts https://soundcloud.com/mx_world who previously sang with Boy With Wings.

and other lovely performers you can find here.

Repeater played a funny funny video of Victoria beckham (Genus species) walking us through her wardrobe next to a spoof someone’s done of ‘victoria beckham’ giving a tour of her local newsagents. As well as an octopus cuddling a teddy. It was brilliant. Altogether it was talking about fashions and how they litter the world. I liked it. very squishy. http://www.fluidfestival.org/index.php/artist/price

I was really scared of going to town to buy some waterproof shoes in preparation for more WWOOFing and I kind of knew in my heart I wasn’t going to do it so my friend took me before we went to the festival and I couldn’t be anymore grateful. It meant so much to me. I even found a much needed snood for half price. It’s called a polar chuff or something. We all smeared period blood on our cheeks to celebrate our natural beauty.

polar snuff cougar 24th sept.jpg




Foraging · Gardening/Permaculture

That shallot – it’s all clover now.

One of the things I’m doing in my garden is looking into alternatives to grass for ground cover – of these clover and moss are my favourite so far. Because then I could eat the clover!


clover crispbreads 22nd sept.jpg

Also I would like to show you my beautiful onion hotel.

onion hotel 22nd sept.jpgThe theory is that I can keep trimming away at the greenery and it will regrow – thus never having to buy chives or onions again – I do wish I’d made it a little bit denser in foliage though. It looks like an alien!

Films/Theatre/Music/Culture · Foraging

Scottish Curry

Wild Scottish Spices.jpg

Wild Scottish spice selection, ready for grinding into a masala, clockwise from 12: Coriander grass, wood avens root, hogweed seeds, dried spignel leaf, spignel seeds, dried fermented garlic, ramson capers, wild carrot seed; centre: dried pepper dulse, dried powdered peppery bolete.

Here is a really lovely radio program about how to recreate all spices (that we are now used to getting from half way across the world) a little closer to home.

It’s really lovely and an eye opener for saving on air miles and imports!

Here is his useful website –

I put a list of plants and mushrooms he uses in the radio show at the bottom of this blog. Remember be super careful when foraging and always get a proper lesson before you attempt fungi.

The answer to the last blog is that it’s an acronym for plant classification.

Biological Classification Diagram

Cultivar (Species)

King David/Philip Cracks (Stop) Out Farts Galore Smelly C*nt






List of Spices

Pepper Dulse – little brown seaweed no more than 1cm long – instead of pepper.
Scurvy Grass – Oval or heart shaped succulent leaves – white flowers in spring stays all winter.
Sea Rocket
Sea Arrow Grass – finishes early spring – in salt marshes. Tastes like coriander.
Gorse – coconut flavour flowers – main coconut flavour is in June.

Chanterel mushrooms – high fungi ID skills make plants seem incredibly easy.
Water Pepper / Arse smart – Pursicaria Hydropypa – spearlike leaves, shiny, by water. Chilli heat.
Angelica – swamp
Common Hogweed – Golpar in iranian – avoid giant hogweed. Sap that blisters your skin in sun.
Magnolia Petals – like ginger
Wild Garlic – fermented
Wood Avens – roots – woodland plant on path edges.
Scott’s Lovage – Fresh Lovage – similar to fenugreek
Fenugreek milk cap mushroom – bad for you raw – cooked in small quantities.
Coconut milk cap mushrooms – Milk caps exude a latex when you break them.
Peppery Bolete – Boletus mushroom – related to puccini – very very peppery
Sea Radish

Films/Theatre/Music/Culture · Gardening/Permaculture · Outings

King David Cracks Out Farts Galore

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Mahogany Opera Group – Man vs. Machine. Check them out! The graphics design college group who were sat around me were p*ssing themselves laughing it was really good. Mozart meets Raymond Scott discussing the beauty of music, copyrighting and it’s evolution in the most anarchic way.

It’s getting easier to push myself to go out with the right mantras in my head. Most recently it is “I need people”. Saw two lovely old friends and the show was just perfect. Like watching the inside of my head! Complete technicolour mayhem!

Kingdom Of Plants – David Attenborough – Great program! Check it out! I’m trying to find Kew gardens’ tree of life that gets mentioned but for now this is the best I’ve got.

Evolution Of Plants Chronological

Tomorrow – discover why I’ve been muttering:

King David/Philip CrackS Out Farts Galore (Smelly C*nt)




Ok kiddlywinks here are the answers to latin herb names in a flashcard quiz.


Some of the latin names such as PEUCEDANUM GRAVEOLENS! were outdated in that 1986 book so I modified them on the quiz. But it’s ok because Bob Dylan can play his ANTHEM (anethum) on the Grave of Len’s instead of puking on it!

The beautiful pictures I used were from a great site for medicinal herbs called The Herbal Resource.

This site was very useful in teaching me the root of the latin words and how to pronounce them – Dave’s Garden – Botanary (Such as ‘Peusedanum’ not ‘puked on ’em’)

Today  I dug up the rest of my potatoes before the wet weather rots them or slugs get to them and I sprinkled harvested radish seeds from my spring sowing of radishes in the fresh soil.

I looked into horticulture courses and came across the RHS level 2 course at botanical gardens Birmingham. It has already started and costs 400+ pounds.

So I took the example exam paper the site offers and tried to learn the answers myself from the internet.

Well I came across these!

Study Notes RHS Level 2 

Please pass them onto anyone you know who wants to study horticulture. They are so useful.

So now I am working my way through the course and it is so useful having a framework to contain my curiosity I can’t even express how helpful it is. I am so into learning about plants.

Last night my friend made delicious kale and potato soup from kales and potatoes I’d grown. I recommend giving your produce to amazing chefs!

I am happy because my 1996 readers digest guide to wild flowers arrived in the post today – it cost me £5.50 from world of books and is so beautiful. It was the book I used at my last wwoofing experience in the cabin to learn about wild edibles.

readers digest wild flowers 18th sep

I have yarrow in my garden now! I also split the chives, mint and lemon balm to spread as cover under my tree.

I also made a beautiful german apple cake for my friends birthday from apples I found on a tree on Smallbrook Queensway. They were in a church but fresh ones were on the floor so it isn’t being picked. The cake was amazing! They must be Eve’s apples!

Now is the time to split your herbaceous perennials at the roots and spread the love.

How do I know?

The RHS website! < guide to what to be doing in the garden each month.







Gardening/Permaculture · Outings

Herb Test

susan mclure art 17th sept.jpgSusan McClure – http://www.susanmcclure.com

See if you can name the latin names for these herbs
(as listed in The Illustrated Encyclopaedia of Gardening by Arthur Hellyer)


My tip is to use memory images that link to the sound of the words and trigger stories in your brain.

So I drew a picture of Bob Dylan throwing up on a grave of a guy called len who wears big big glasses. BOB DYLAN PUKED ON A GRAVE OF LEN’S!

You try it. And I’ll have made a flashcard test by tomorrow.


I have made it back into humanity – I threw out my rope and it held fast so I’m holding on! Looking into horticulture courses and gardening jobs and my options.

Saw an amazing gig THE BEAT feat DAVE WAKELING – people talking about love onstage always gets me as well as the great music, great company and great support from RUDER THAN U (coventry band) and FRANTIC ACTION (birmingham band). Now looking forward to one day seeing the BEAT with RANKING ROGER who I missed at Shambala Festival!

Went to a beautiful garden party decorated with neon boards and patterns and light berries in a tree.

And visited the PRE FABS from 1920’s and post war on wake green road in Birmingham for an open day.

Walked into someone’s house on the way to buy eggs who had opened her studio for an OPEN ARTISTS weekend taking place round Birmingham and bought a card and got this little business card. It was nice learning a little micro story and seeing all her lovely pictures. She hasn’t painted very much for 3 years because she’s looking after her sick husband and she’s got MS. Her friends came round and took turns tidying up the studio with her and making it beautiful. She was so grateful for their support. The power of asking for practical, positive help with a project. Just like Barbara Sher says. http://barbarasclub.com/how-to-get-what-you-really-want/

Being around new and well known people who I can talk to and finding a balance between talking about myself and my struggles in a positive and not bogged down way whilst learning about them and making each other laugh. Appreciating people a lot.

Didn’t want to go out at first but thought of it as a moral conundrum and put myself in the shoes of the people I care about who want to see me. Feeling very cosy at my friend’s house. It’s a long process to let yourself be accepted and I could have run away numerous times but I’ve been watching and learning like a little alien how I want to behave in order to get those cosy feelings and have my brain stimulated.

You know it’s a good day when you’re listening to the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.


My Shit’s Fucked Up

Thought today was going to be a total write off but spoke to my housemate which was good, we talked about the clash of babies and buddhism and it sorted me right out. I remembered the two times I’ve held a friends baby and the whole room has melted into love. What is the woman with a baby or a family’s approach to Buddhism? How does it integrate into their lives to relinquish worldly matters?

Hopefully being honest about my anxiety means I’m more likely to go out and not cancel at the last minute like i’ve done other times. I convince myself i don’t want to go because I’m so so scared…but i really really want to go.

I started learning basic science. Watched a rubbish, sexist film that shines a wicked spotlight on consumer ethics with one classic Steve Buscemi line called ‘The Island’ (2005). Watched half of series 20 of South Park that covered the presidential election! It is spot on, it’s so funny. It sums up that everything’s fucked up and sometimes nothing is right and people are just people – it just get’s it spot on by laughing at everyone to lift you out of impossible thought conflicts. It deals with conflict in the BEST way! It is so good.


I found this wicked song.

BONUS – points for finding which song off this album references a film I talked about in an earlier blog as a rhyming point!

Depression · Films/Theatre/Music/Culture

All’s well that ends Welles


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Today I felt so bad so I decided seeing as I’m addicted to my computer I’ll make the most out of it.

So I watched an amazing film called Me and Orson Welles 2008 (Richard Linklater) Richard Linklater has done some other films I’m not so keen on but maybe due to my love and previous knowledge of Orson Welles and my experience working in the theatre this film is so great. I believed I was getting a snapshot into Orson Welles’ life. Christian Mckay was an awesome Welles.

I also watched a wicked film called POPOTOPALIS about a B-movie director called Jim Wynorski. http://popatopolis.com. It is full of sexism and it is an absolutely amazing insight into this guys world as a prolific modern day (2007) B-movie maker in America. The enjoyment for this also comes from a history of me watching B-movies which can be AMAZING! Same as pulp B-movie style sci fi books!

I’ve also been desperately listening to copious amounts of  talks and podcasts about depression, break ups and children of divorce over the last two days.

Most importantly is this TED talk and mini book by Barbara Sher

http://barbarasclub.com/how-to-get-what-you-really-want/ It has got loads of amazing characters that she has met in it, it comes across like a play or monologue – it is the most memorable so far I loved it.

This one is amazing and full of lovely, interesting people.


This one is amazing – from the guy who wrote Musicophilia – neurologist Oliver Sacks – what hallucination reveals about the brain.

A good podcast is called ‘The One You Feed’ (good wolf bad wolf parable) The one with Amy Banks on the neuropathy of relationships is great (they are probably all good). Put them on your phone and listen to them on the commute!

I remember one about heartbreak because she talked about not lying to yourself and how when you do you’re lying to everyone who cares about you. Another one was great about surviving divorce (breakup) by not obsessing.

This one is great especially if you like cycling. Made me cry.

This one is for a good problem solving attitude from a straight talker on problem solving.


So I’m trying to be more in touch with people and in turn be generous, be able to hold opposite thoughts in my brain at the same time – let go and feel the emotion before tensing up or switching off and panicking about what to do about it and remember that almost everything I do – I choose to do it.

I’ve forced myself to have something nice but also productive to get up and do tomorrow and I got in touch with some people just in case good things come from it including emailing my mum! So good luck for me. I guess I’m not working at the moment but what I’m doing is the same as a critic or magazine researcher might do so I have still been working all day!

😉 :O 🙂

hashtag what is an emoji is it the same as a hashtag? :s